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Child of the 80's

Mark Marianelli

Maybe I'm becoming old... Well, not MAYBE, sadly I am becoming old. There's a reason the word 'age' sounds so much like 'agitation', because that's exactly what happens as you get older - you get bitter at everything. You don't understand current music, you prefer films from your youth and then that dreaded day happens where for the first time you utter the words "When I was your age" to your kid.

... Also you have a kid. Multiple in my case.

Although I'm fairly convinced things actually WERE better in my day for one very specific reason: Saturday morning cartoons aren't even a thing anymore. Why even wait for the weekends anymore? Granted, my kids are 3, 4 and WOMB, so every day is kind of like Saturday for them... Which I guess means every day sucks for them now because there's no dang Saturday morning cartoons! I could literally write about what a travesty this is for hours and paragraphs, but it's a tiresome complaint that everybody born in the 70's and 80's has whined about in great detail - and hence, this illustration is for you people. The true children of the 80's.

There's a good chunk of 80's franchises in this drawing, but I know I'm only scratching the surface of that beautiful era. Television was imaginative, colorful and daring - and it had to be because every show was geared towards selling toys. If those toys lost originality, nobody would buy them, hence no more television show - and vice versa. Everything had a gimmick - Robots that turned into vehicles, magical holographic projections, military food and mind-controlled dinosaurs, you simply don't get insanity like that any more.

Sure, most of these shows fizzled out after a couple seasons, but that was all you needed. Not to mention once a gimmick ran its course, another one would pop up in its place and re-capture your imagination all over again. This illustration only accounts for 10, maybe 11 franchises and that's only a tenth of how much nostalgic goodness was being pumped out during that time.

And the toys were no joke either. None of these cheap 'surprise' bags you buy for 3 bucks at Target that end up being nothing more than a cheap plastic mold that breaks as soon as you take it out of the wrapper and is probably a duplicate of the LAST one you bought because everything's set up to be a money-grabbing gamble nowadays. No, toys were quality. You played with them, you dropped them from great heights, froze them in your freezer, threw them across the room, fed them to your dog and at worst the paint chipped or they'd lose an arm... Which ended up being awesome because you'd just replace it with a robot arm you made out of pipe cleaners and rubber bands and it was like a whole new toy with a new storyline!

Good lord I hate my kids' toys. I hate their shows too. Oh well though, I'm sure they're find something to be fond of. I wish they didn't know what the internet was - I'd just make them think there's no such thing and only turn Netflix on on Saturday mornings.

... Or maybe I should just like, spend time with them.

YAY 80'S!
~ M.