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Blog

LEGO: Missed Opportunities

Mark Marianelli

I'm such a sucker for Lego. Like in a big bad way.

As I've already mentioned, I've had my face buried in my tv playing Lego Marvel Superheroes - Not the manliest game, but something about that entire franchise tickles me. I was never very good with Legos growing up, but I always had them, always bought the little mini spaceship sets... And inevitably always popped the spacemen's heads off in glorious battle with my Batman figures. I was a sick child - and come on, we all know Batman doesn't kill. But then, I grew up with Tim Burton's Batman, so as far as I was concerned he was a stone-cold KILLA'!

I'm all over the place right now. Getting nostalgic.

Back to the Lego games. I've been a fan ever since the first Lego Star Wars game. I still don't know what compelled me to buy it, I must have just been hankering for a good Star Wars game. Whatever the reason, it was a GOOD decision. There's a joy that comes with the simplicity of the franchise, it doesn't take itself too seriously and it's aimed at kids, so it's easy to pick up and learn. I'm that guy that gets ripping mad at difficult video games, I'm not the guy that throws controllers at the wall though - too expensive. But you better believe I'll curse that controller out! It comes with being a casual gamer, you're never good enough to dominate most games without cheats, but you still want to keep playing despite the rising difficulty as you progress. Thank GOD for Lego - No matter how far along you get, it's always beatable, and they never punish you for sucking with Game Overs and continues that make you start the level over. You just play and die and keep playing until you beat it. No penalties, just fun. And the unlockable content (which is the stuff I LOVE about most games) flows like milk and honey.

They tackle a plethora (love that word) of franchises, but I can't help but think they've missed a few golden opportunities... These were just a few I had in mind that I think Lego needs to get on board with:

LEGO: SPAWN

Comic books are huge right now and Lego has only begun to tap into the unlimited potential that lies within the comic kingdom. Personally I think they took the easy way out. Everybody is jumping on the Marvel/DC bandwagon but where's the love for IMAGE? Look, caped Crusaders and mutants are great, but what the kids REALLY want are HELLSPAWNS. I think Lego is the perfect platform to tell the story of an assassin who's soul has been tainted with the death of innocents and dies a horrible, burning death only to be resurrected as a solider for hell.

Let me put it this way: Lego chains, Lego flames & scantly clad Lego dames.

3 things that not only rhyme but also make kids go crazy with excitement! And if that's not enough, there's even a clown! ... A homicidal clown who's not actually a clown but a vicious, evil demon named the Violator who disguises himself as a fat homeless clown to make sure old Spawny stays on the path to EEEVIL. Look, the devil's in the details (no pun intended), but EVERYTHING is adorable when you give it that Lego charm that's just oh so marketable!

LEGO: MORTAL KOMBAT

The only shameful thing about Lego Mortal Kombat is that it hasn't been created yet!

I don't know how else to put this - Lego Men were MADE to be dismembered. Who hasn't popped the head off of a Lego spaceman? If ever there was a franchise that SCREAMED Lego makeover, it's Mortal Kombat.

Let's put aside the obvious greatness of the concept and look at it from a financial standpoint - It'd be the cheapest game Lego ever created. Half the characters are color swaps of each other and the original Mortal Kombat games used motion capture with REAL actors to create the fighters; so all you'd have to do is grab a couple Ninjago toys, a bag full of red Lego studs and a camera and you've got your game! Come on, Lego, you might as well just print your own money here!

You know what? Forget it. If Lego's not going to make this game, I'M just gonna' go ahead and make it myself. YOU KNOW I CAN DO IT! Don't test me, Lego... Don't. Test me.

LEGO: DOOM

There's no denying that First Person Shooters are just about the most dominant genre in the console world. Call of Duty, Battlefield, Resistance, Bioshock, Fallout, Crysis, Borderlands, Killzone... It's only fitting that Lego get a piece of that FPS pie, and I know just the franchise to get their foot in the door with - A little game known as DOOM! The Godfather of FPS.

Imagine if you will - You're a marine. You're stationed on Mars, suddenly a portal rips open and the forces of hell assault your space-station; possessing and killing everybody in sight. Imps, Demons, Zombies, Lost Souls, Cyberdemons - All presented in glorious Lego format!

Lego's prime trademark if any has always been Space - Spacemen, Spaceships, Space stations, ray guns and oxygen packs - why not throw a little taste of Hell in their while you're at it! How is that not a gold mine??

If you don't think it's scary enough to hold the DOOM name, try this: Your kid just got done playing this game for 10 hours straight, it's 1am and he just realized he has to go to sleep in a room FILLED with Legos... Don't tell me he's not going to sleep with the lights on. Any game that can make children terrified of Legos is a game worth pursuing.

LEGO: AMERICAN PSYCHO

Yeah, they probably shouldn't make this game.

...

Like ever.

Well on that note,
~ M.